Social Résumé

2018 05 19 - 22:52

A friend posted what she referred to as her "social résumé", which I thought was a fairly nifty idea; not the least of the reasons being that I like making lists. So, let's see:

personal



Get me off this stage

2018 05 17 - 15:01

Every once in a while my sensei makes us teach - to explain a waza, to refine a point, etcetera. I loathe this. I don't mind teaching or explaining, but only to one person at a time. I don't like talking in front of groups, even if it's groups of people I have no trouble communicating with otherwise.

I do not like being the centre of that kind of scrutiny or attention.

I've tried to figure out how or when this started. I can't source it, though I do know some of the reasons I continue to have the problem. I'm not going to share them; they're too embarassing. I might have no fear of discussing some personal matters openly, but even I have my limits. Increased frequency has never made it easier. I barrel through it without looking anyone in the face, getting to the end of it all as fast I can so it can be over with. It's always been that way, with anything I've had to do in front of others.

Someone once suggested - in respect of singing in public - that I put on another guise, be someone else so I could get through the performance. I can't. I am who I am. I am, as I just said to someone else, no good at pretence. Faking it doesn't change the fact that I'm still the focus of attention. I'd be a lousy actor, because I'm no good at pretence. It's also been suggested that I deal with it the same way I deal with explaining my art to people. Here's the thing, though - I don't. I will tell people how I made things, what process I used, but I leave it up to the audience to find a meaning.

art, iaido, personal
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Darling, I give you very best duck.

2018 05 11 - 23:21

I ran my favourite James Bond line through a few runs of Google translate ... because it's known for its accuracy:

English - Darling, I give you very best duck.

to French - Chéri, je te donne le meilleur canard.

to German - Liebling, ich gebe dir die beste Ente.

to Bosnian - Dragi, dacu ti najbolju patku.

to Greek - Agapité, tha sou dóso tin kalýteri pápia.

to Yiddish - Hilf, es vet haltn di kapkeyx.

to Hawaiian - Ae, e ho'oia aku i keia manawa.

to Irish - Sea, lig sé a bheith ag an am seo.

to English - Yes, let it be at this time.

personal
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Holbein Coloured Pencils

2018 05 04 - 03:04

Only 131 of the 150 full set of Holbein coloured pencils are acceptably lightfast - either a two or three star rating, and this is the complete list of those colours. The marked (*) ones are the ones I have. The email I received from the manufacturer, indicated that the reason they aren't available in Canada (yet!) is that they haven't yet received a license to do so - something to do, I think, with some of the pigments used in their making. They are working on it, though. That'll be a monumental relief to anyone looking to acquire them who doesn't either want to spend a month's rent to get them, or doesn't have a buddy travelling to Japan who can pick up a set (or open stock) and bring them back. I have found a seller on eBay from whom you can buy open stock (which I have, so I know it's legit as far as that goes; and they apparently offer some sort of discount on bulk orders, but I haven't inquired about that yet) (reds, blues, greens, blacks/whites, violets, yellows) (or by set), but they're about $5 to $6 each. The charts on each of the linked pages for the open stock, give the lightfastness of each pencil.

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art
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Dear Incels

2018 04 26 - 12:52

Don’t make the mistake of thinking incels are men’s rights activists – they are so much more dangerous - They place the blame on to women for their misery, and in doing so provide the motivation and justification for acts of extreme violence like Alek Minassian’s.

What a terrifyingly grotesque group of sad individuals you incels are. I pity you.

I've been rejected, abused, hurt, ignored, insulted, derided, shamed, called names, dismissed, used, devalued, harassed, and told I not only had no right to talk about how I felt about it, but that I should also be grateful for it, and yet I manage to get through my day without blaming the entire world for my sometimes excruciating loneliness. I don't think the world owes me anything because of it. I plug on. It's not easy sometimes, but I don't drown in it. Loneliness is like starving and suffocating at the same time, and I know it very intimately, but I channel what I can into something else - like my sword, or my art.

The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. If you find that women reject your come-ons, then change your come-ons, and change the type of women you're coming on to. If the common denominator is you, look to how you might be able to change that; or, accept the consequences of not changing, and move on.

Not one single man I've ever given the time of day to was a "normie", in the sense they see it. I don't like GQ men or pretty boys. I've always found it incredibly hard to read a pretty boy's personality. I don't like assholes. Women don't, you know. What women want is strength, and vast numbers of men have no idea how to be strong - they equate strong with domination. It isn't. Strength is knowing yourself, being solid, honourable, confident. I have always preferred men who are off the beaten path - in attitude, in tastes, in hobbies. What I don't care for, are men who have no desire for life, men who don't look like they give a crap about anything, men who want to coast as the lowest common denominator. You don't have to have a big life, but for the love of all that's sainted and holy, whatever life it is you do have, act like you care about it and not like you're just coasting through it. If you have no interest in your own life, how could any woman ever be sure you'd have interest in her or her life? If you have no interest in your own life, why should any other person? Women don't exist to fill that void. You must fill that void for yourself, and invite others along for the ride.

personal
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Canson Art Board - review, tips

2018 03 16 - 09:35

It's nice to have a sturdy surface to work on without going directly on matboard. In fact, working on this stuff is rather like matboard - only this is thicker and has archival papers glued on to its surface. I can only speak to the finer textured version, but there are versions with more tooth than what I got.

Pros:

Cons:

I had actually soaked one in water for just a few moments, so not long enough to saturate it completely; but it was long enough to make it good and wet. It did come out bowed, but that can be combatted by laying the board between two flat, heavy items flatten the board as it dries.

The issue with the tearing and fraying of paper when you remove the board from the binding, could be solved by the application of some acrylic medium both before and after the piece is done.

I've worked over and over some areas with a lot of pencil, and this stuff is holding up nicely - both oil- and wax-based pencils. Of course, I'm not 'scrubbing' into the paper with a heavy hand, but multiple layers can produce a lot of piling on paper depending on its quality. So if you were looking to use this for pencil work, I'd say it's a safe bet. And given the ability it has to take water, I'd give it a go for acrylic and watercolour as well. I don't know about oil, as it's not a medium I've touched in over twenty years.

art
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T'Gaal Sharpener - review, tips

2018 03 15 - 20:17

A good sharpener is any pencil user's dream.

Pros:

Cons:

I once came upon the tip that one should turn the sharpener around the pencil, rather than turning the pencil inside the sharpener, when it comes to using the hand-held type; as this apparently causes far less breakage. I was never able to manage it easily, so finding a decent sharpener, rather than going the sandpaper route, was always a thing for me. I quite like this one, and the tip choices; as the lower number tips will lead to less tip breakage, but still offer a nice point. You also still have the option of the pencil version of a rigger brush with point 5, if you need something long and thin and need to get into a tight area.

On the note of pencil breakage, I'm sure you're aware of the issues with Prismacolor Premiers, so I won't go into that; but will tell you that my own personal fix is a hair dryer - and I'm guessing you could use a heat tool also. Lay the pencils down somewhere they won't get blown around much by the dryer, and blow-dry each pencil end to end for at least a minute or so - it doesn't have to be a minute or so for every centimetre of the pencil, but so long as the whole pencil gets heated for a good amount of time, it'll be suffice. I'd rather this method than the microwave option, given the shiny lettering. I've found the hair dryer method works well, and can be repeated if necessary. If a tip does break off in this sharpener, just turn it so the pencil hole is facing down, tap it against something a time or two, and the lead should fall right out.

Also, remember to every once in a while sharpen a regular graphite pencil with your sharpener, to help clean the blade of the waxes and oils from your pencils.

art
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The Delight of White

2018 03 12 - 17:12

Everything I have that will make white that isn't a paint or a bottled ink, on "black" cardstock. I don't have true black pastel paper at the moment (just this cardstock), nor any Caran d'Ache whites.

art
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Shodan

2018 03 07 - 22:03

iaido
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Left, Left, Left Right Left

2018 01 24 - 22:48

Up until I started Iaido, I'd never given too too much thought to how much I favoured the right side of my body. I'm heavily right-side dominant. It's all to do with my vision. My left eye is basically useless - the lights are on, but no one's much home. It led to me overcompensating way too much - and sometimes still a bit - with my sword. I always "think" I'm in the middle, but I'm not.

Last night, during karate, the sensei noticed that when we were doing exercises that favoured the right side of the body, I had my weight perfectly centered between both feet; but when we did exercises that favour the left side of the body, all my weight seemed to be on the right side.

I was telling this to my fellow dojo mates during Iaido this evening, and one of them said, "You don't trust the left side of your body." I'd never thought of it in quite those terms before, but he's absolutely right. I don't trust the left side of my body. I never have; never really could. I can't see anything coming from that side of the body. I can't read with that eye unless the text is large and my face is right against it.

It's taken a lot of diligent effort to compensate for this over-compensation. Forty some-odd years of habit to overcome.

iaido
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