Living a life of value


2021 04 19  |  journal

A work colleague posted on the work forums about how they, as a disabled person, felt devalued as a person because they were not able to work a regular nine-to-five job or participate in life the same way abled people are. They feel constantly under pressure to "justify" their lives, to explain how they live to others. They were asking for some advice on how to live a fulfilling life as a disabled person. This was my response:


One thing is you have to come to terms with the idea that folk just are never going to get it, and you can't live your life assuming it's your job to make them get it.

We spend way too much time structuring human value around work, labour, fiscal contribution. Those are by no means the only way to measure value - and sometimes they aren't even the most important. Measure your work for yourself in the sense that you have found something that serves you, that works with your disability, that you can earn a living with. If you can transcribe, that's a good skill. It says a lot about you. Be proud of those skills.

Hobbies are the road to salvation, I find. Find things that you can do - art, music, martial arts, whatever. Volunteer if you can, even if that's just doing things online.

If you're able to, do make sure to get out of the house once in a while. Explore where you live if you never have. Take lots of pictures. Set up a blog. Post them. Talk about what you find/see.

Go to local festivals/events (when it's again safe to do so).

Read books, watch movies. Maybe do both of those things in specific relation to where you live or your cultural heritage.

Learn a new language. Learn three.

I'm legally blind. I sing, I make art, I practice a martial art with a sword, I do Tai Chi, I attend protests, I volunteer. Trust me when I say there's more you can do than you think, even if it takes a while to figure out how to make them work with what your disability is.
It's situations like this that, in part, make me loathe terms like "middle class", because in so many ways it's possible that this person, nor myself, ever could be a part of it, and valuing everything through the lens of economics or certain milestones (car, house, cottage, etc.) can leave some feeling like they don't matter or aren't measuring up if they aren't hitting those same milestones. Our culture really does centre itself around purchasing power more than it does around quality of life - though frequently you can have no quality of life if you have no purchasing power.

A number of things happened after I turned 40 that saved my sanity. One of them was a moment I sometimes call The Great Liberator, the moment that I realised I didn't give a flying fuck at a rolling doughnut what people thought. It was so relieving, better than getting an unreachable itch or that hair off your wet back. I reconnected with my art, I found the sword, and I found transcription. Transcription was the first time in my life that I had a job I didn't completely hate. It suited my temperament, my education, my experience, my life skills. It doesn't pay much, but it gets me through.

I am content in a way that I never imagined I would be. I don't have any shame or embarrassment in discussing my life with people now. The only things missing are more companionship and a nicer place to live so that I can finally invite people over. That's another story, and not a situation of my making. Another day.

The contentment and peace meant more to me than any amount of money ever could. I have realised what is truly important to me, and none of it involves culturally normed status symbols.

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