Lady Bitch
2001 03 09
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Last evening I was out with a friend to have coffee. We grabbed them to go and went back to the car to drive as we drank and talked. (We've been doing this for well over a decade now, and I'm sure we'd be the darlings of the tollbooths if Canada actually had more than the one.)
As I'm outside of the coffee shop removing the tea bag from the cup (I never actually drink coffee more than two or three times a year) I hear some man calling out. I didn't pay much attention at first. Number one, it wasn't clear he was talking to me, and number two, I don't pay attention to anything until it's right next to me. This has prevented many occurances of embarassment. Believe me.
The man got closer, and all of a sudden it was pretty clear what he was saying, and to whom he was saying it.
"Lady bitch, lady bitch have you got a light?"
Well now there's two words I never thought I'd hear strung together in one sentence. Much less did I ever imagine them being addressed to myself.
Lady bitch...
Please explain to me what these two words have in common, because I'll be jiggered if I can figure it out.
Of course I had a light. I smoke. But as I said to this gentleman, "I don't have a light for someone who calls me a bitch," turned, and went off to my friend's car where we proceeded to discuss her newly discovered nesting habits, and how likely it is she's going to turn into Martha Stewart after acquiring the dab and daub method of home decorating.