Modern Female Human Type
2001 06 13
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(to the tune of Modern Major General
I am the very model of a modern female human type
At least that's what they tell me by the status of my genotype
I know I've got the chromasomes to prove my native physic state
And if my parents wanted boys, I only say that it's too late
I'm very well acquainted with the workings of the female form
I understand why, though we're like, we're never, ever uniform
And though there's many forms of what we wear to hide our bits
There's never anything that really, ever truly fits
I'm very good at PMS and ESP and moody states
I've gotten myself into very, very rude debates
In short, in matters of the modern female human form
I'm like the rest, I am unique, but like all the rest, I fit the norm
I'm fairly good at matters of the amateur psychologist
Can plot the paths of people, even though they take a twist
I swear in English, French, Italian, and Finnish too
About as quick as I can quote an ode with cadence quite askew
I'm sensitive to colour, composition, and a rhyming scheme
And find that fevers bring the best things right out of a dream
And though I cannot whistle with the skill of sailors on the sea
I still can hold a tune even though notation is a mystery
My favourite food to eat is garlic bread with cheese on top
I'm the favourite customer of a very, very nearby shop
And one day I may learn to cook, and fix a meal that's gourmet-like
But my skills at things domestical would still appear to be on strike
My favourite sport to watch is cars that go so very fast
There's pictures of the one I drove somewhere in my distant past
And though I really do appreciate the awesome opportunity
I must point out, that in the car, drove a girl who could not see
I was born upon an island that sits out on the ocean blue
Had surgery upon my eyes before I even had turned two
I've been to England, Hungary, France, and the United States
Though I've never been to Greece and broken china dinner plates
I've had clothing made of cotton, rayon, silk, and a bit of wool
My knowledge of the universe is less than what you could call full
I've mentioned it before, I know, and not to make up too much hype
I am the very model of a modern female human type
© Lonita