Blind


2022 09 21    |    etc    no date    2024 +    2025    entries    home

I once dated a guy who, while on the bus with me one time, whispered to me as I read a text message that people were staring at me as I read because I was holding the phone almost to my face to read it.

That was absolutely one of my life's greater "What's your point / I don't give a flying fuck" moments. He was more embarrassed about it than I'd ever be.

That's right. Even with my glasses I am legally blind. I need to hold a regular print book within three to five inches of my face to read it comfortably with the one eye that I can actually comfortably read with. In terms of typing this post out before I share it, though, I am using an 18 pt font in a text editor on a 32" monitor that's about five or six inches from me. I can read this with my right eye. In order for me to read it with my left I have to put my face right against the screen, and even then it's deeply hit and miss. I have no real depth perception because of my vision, and my peripheral is questionable in my good' eye.

This is not a minor impairment. This is a life-impacting disability.

Apparently, however, this isn't blind enough for those who think that if you're not using a cane or have a dog you're just not blind enough. It is blind enough to make finding work an almost impossible feat.

I cannot:

  • legally operate a vehicle
  • operate machinery in a factory or retail setting
  • work in food service
  • work in the trades
  • work a vast number of retail jobs (for multiple reasons, not the least of them being vast numbers of small things I can't see, like reading the pricing on shelf edges too far over my head or too close to the ground. I'd have to lay on the floor to read them)
  • work in any job that is heavily dependent on good vision - not even those exam invigilator jobs the college offers on occasion, because you have to be able to keep your eye on people, and that's not happening in my universe
  • grocery shop easily, because I can't read the packaging without picking every single thing up to read it. Sometimes I can't even tell foods from each other on a buffet. Is that a plate of melon or a plate of cheese chunks? Thank the universe for grocery apps though
  • read the overhead menus in a fast food restaurant
  • enjoy a sporting event in person because I can't follow the game. It's all just a mass of bodies and colours
  • enjoy theatre events in general because I can't see what's going on on the stage
  • watch any film/TV show with subtitles because I cannot read and watch at the same time
  • play certain games/sports at all, or without great difficulty (partly because of low vision, partly because of no depth perception. I can't tell easily how far something is if thrown)
  • recognise/see people unless they're literally within a foot or two of me


These are not minor problems. Not in any regard. They have impacted my life severely since the day I was born. And since it's not operable, it'll impact me until the day I die.

P.S. I share this willingly, but many disabled people won't, and that's their business. No disabled person owes you their business, including any explanation of their disability. You should never assume you are owed fuck all from someone just because you're curious.

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