lonita.net - Things I've done

Things I've done

Original composition date lost | etc no date 2024 + 2025 entries home

driven a racecar
listened to Beethoven's Ode to Joy fifteen times in a row in one sitting
not filed a tax return for four years
eaten alligator meat
climbed all the way to the top of St. Paul's Cathedral in London
been inside and touched a stone circle (not Stonehenge, they don't let people touch that one)
flown over Greenland
gracelessly fallen on the White Horse of Uffington
touched the Venus de Milo
caught a bat in my apartment
eaten frog's legs
stood on the Prime Meridian
eaten a dog biscuit; they're bland.
sung solos in a Cathedral
sung Christmas carols in a Santa Claus parade
been spayed
chosen copying out portions of the Bible as punishment for not participating in the physical portion of a gym class (I think I chose well here. I don't recall what the other options were.)
been within napping distance of Mary Queen of Scots' bed (looked comfy, if short)
bought a copy of the Bhagavad Gita from French Hare Krishnas
walked under the Thames river
cured myself of obsessive compulsive disorder
assembled a futon (having exerted from me the requite blood sacrifice, the Ikea Norse gods of furniture were favourable towards me)
painted part of the outside of a house
played with a noose (my grandfather used to be into knot-tying; it was there, I played with it. I didn't know what it was. It was just a big piece of rope to me.
written documentation that was later read by the government
sold my artwork at auction
gone to the movies alone, though only once. (It was Never Say Never Again; I wonder if that's got anything to do with it?)
been on stage
had a tetanus shot because I stepped on a rusty nail
had my writing published
spent a few weeks alone in a country where I didn't know the native language beyond "bus tickets" and "tea"
participated in a chess tournament (where I was disqualified, along with my opponent, because neither of us would back down from the check.)
seen both Pretty in Pink and The Breakfast Club more than twenty-five times each (and neither of them is my favourite film)
written a song about kuru
written email to Stephen Hawking. (He never wrote back.)
practiced Santeria rituals. (No, nothing violating or illegal; but I'm not going to elaborate. And no, I'm not a believer.)
participated in a Passover meal (I'm not a believer.)
gone without sleep for approximately 72 hours, then gone to the first Lollapalooza show
gone through the process of installing, and reinstalling, Windows XP seven times in one 24 hour period. Head explodey
taken roller-skating lessons, and earned my first badge. (I may still even have it)
celebrated Pi Day
celebrated Towel Day
sent a post card to someone in Hamilton from Toronto, even though I was only going to be there a few hours
stood under Big Ben as it chimed
participated in Beltane rites. (No, not that way.)
figured out how to make the perfect macaroni salad
sat in a stadium with over fifty thousand other people (some dressed like Klingons) and watched the final episodes of ST:TNG
taken ballet lessons
studied Tai Chi
ridden, but never fallen off of, a horse
dyed my hair; it was supposed to go auburn, but went orange instead
swallowed a dime
seen my birth constellation through a telescope at an observatory
carried a teddy bear around a university campus for an entire day. (It was my birthday, and the bear was a gift.)
named stuffed animals after members and songs from the band Gwar. (The teddy bear, in fact; he was named Balzac the Jaws of Death a.k.a. Vlad the Impaler.)
had an imaginary friend which I named Charlie Brokentoaster. (I have no recollection of why I called him that.)
sent email to Richard Michael Stallman. (He did write back, but didn't want to sing my song about the hurd kernel.)
walked next to, and over, the Danube. (It is not blue.)
bought a Paddington bear in Paddington Station
been to the top of the Eiffel Tower
ridden subways in five different countries
bought shoes in those same five countries
drunk milk and Pepsi mixed together. (Yeah, I had a passing phase of watching Laverne & Shirley, and had to indulge, just for the hell of it. My recommendation is don't.)
purposefully sought out and bought a Tom Jones greatest hits CD
survived for a week on almost nothing but cream of mushroom soup. (I'd just had my wisdom teeth out, and couldn't chew like the carnivore I truly am.)
quit smoking by going cold turkey. (That was, without a doubt, three of the toughest weeks of my life.)
cried during the public performance of classical music. (Ode to Joy)
streaked. (don't get excited; I was two years-old at the time.)
been on-air at a radio station
wandered through a hedge maze
had a crush on Che Guevara. (I was 12; what can I say?)
made crystals with sugar and water
cleaned my glasses with shaving cream
attended a seance. (I personally did not contact the dead, but others there claimed to. I'm not a believer.)
been ordained as a minister in the Universal Life Church. (Not so much an accomplishment, as such, given that they'll ordain anyone; but, interesting given that I am an atheist.)
been to an all-inclusive resort. (I mention this only because previous to this, I'd never understood why the hell someone would want to travel somewhere only to end up doing nothing and seeing nothing of the country they were in. Now I get it. They go there specifically because they don't have to do anything, for once.)
drunk tequila before 10 a.m. (I think the bartender at the resort was seeking some perverse sort of joy out of giving me far more than I asked for, given that I asked for an alcoholic beverage before 11 a.m.)
been to a major league baseball game. (The home team suffered a crushing defeat at the hands of the BoSox. 14-1. Ouch.)
dyed the snow in someone's front yard with various colours of food dye
set off the entire fire alarm system in my grandmother's apartment building by attempting, unsuccessfully, to make pancakes. (They smoked a lot. The fireman who eventually showed up to check it out, told me that next time I should order Chinese food. I think I did.)
had beer with two of the guys who wrote a lot of Waitresses songs
served as an altar girl at mass. (There were no boys available, and I was stuck at a Knights of Columbus picnic with a friend whose dad was in the organisation.)
eaten dye powder. (I was five, thought it was jello powder. Boy was I surprised.)
set fire to my dresser. (It was an accident. I was blowing out a candle, and didn't blow hard enough, so the flame jumped and caught a paper bag. My uncle put it out with my aunt's new nightie. Boy was she pissed. I think I was about eight at the time.)
hung a sari on my wall for decoration
attended trial proceedings. (Not for any personal reason. It was part of a course I took in high school. It was at this point I understood why lawyers charge such high fees - court is one of the most intensely dull things I've ever witnessed, next to golf, and I was told that court is the high point of a lawyer's life. I can just imagine what trial preparation must be like.)
ridden a horse
ridden on a motorcycle
bought and played with a couple of favourite childhood toys as an adult; Spirograph (got it as a gift), LEGO (also gifts), and Lite-Brite (got that one myself)
been within firing distance of a hijacked Iranian warship
alphabetised the entire record library of a radio station; well over thirty thousand pieces of music
allowed someone to doctor my mis-dated visa entry papers for a communist country
taken a typing class; smartest move I ever made in high school
memorised Robert Frost's The Road Not Taken
had, and used, a gym membership
spent entire weekends watching nothing but Bond films
spent an entire week watching nothing but M*A*S*H DVDs
hidden in my grandmother's closet pretending to have run away from home
spent twelve hours in a hospital waiting room waiting for someone to take a sodding sliver of glass out of my foot
managed to sit through the film A Boy and His Dog at least three times ... and I'm still okay

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